This is possibly the best scientology quote I have ever read (taken from this page)
I just tried to run through and highlight some of the funniest parts but the whole thing is pretty much awesome. Also bear in mind that L Ron Hubbard claimed to have a degree in nuclear physics.
By the end of that passage my face looked a little like this
One day I really want to join a 'religion' where I can just say Hey man! That's far too hard for me to grasp and if I don't understand it must be some sort of conspiracy. Seriously! who really gets all those dy and dx thingies anyway? And don't even get me started on those summation signs. Oh man the integral calculus reaLLY GETS ME MAD.
late edit: I hope zombie-Newton escapes from his grave and destroys Tom Cruise in retaliation for this
"Rate of change is this mathematics known as Calculus. Calculus, it's a very interesting thing, is divided into two classes -- there's Differential Calculus and Integral Calculus. The Differential Calculus is in the first part of the textbook on Calculus, and Integral Calculus is in the second part of the textbook on Calculus. As you look through the book, you'll find in the early part of the book on Calculus, "dx" over "dy", a little "dx", and a little "dy" -- and one's above the other on a line -- predominates in the front part of the book, but as you get to the end of the book you find these "dx" and "dy"s preceded by a summation sign, or are equating to a summation sign, and the presence of this shows that we are in the field of Integral Calculus.
Now I hope you understand this, because I've never been able to make head nor tail of it. It must be some sort of a Black Magic operation, started out by the Luce cult -- some immoral people who are operating up in New York City, Rockefeller Plaza -- been thoroughly condemned by the whole society. Anyway, their rate-of-change theory -- I've never seen any use for that mathematics, by the way -- I love that mathematics, because it -- I asked an engineer, one time, who was in his 6th year of engineering, if he'd ever used Calculus, and he told me yeah, once, once I did, he said. When did you use it? And he said I used it once. Let me see, what did you use it on? Oh yeah. Something on the rate-of-change of steam particles in boilers. And then we went out and tested it and found the answer was wrong.I just tried to run through and highlight some of the funniest parts but the whole thing is pretty much awesome. Also bear in mind that L Ron Hubbard claimed to have a degree in nuclear physics.
By the end of that passage my face looked a little like this
One day I really want to join a 'religion' where I can just say Hey man! That's far too hard for me to grasp and if I don't understand it must be some sort of conspiracy. Seriously! who really gets all those dy and dx thingies anyway? And don't even get me started on those summation signs. Oh man the integral calculus reaLLY GETS ME MAD.
late edit: I hope zombie-Newton escapes from his grave and destroys Tom Cruise in retaliation for this
