If this post makes no sense read part 1 and part 1.5
What with me being a serious scientist and all I thought that before trying to manufacture a gallon of wine I'd do a proof of concept run with a smaller brew, this time about 1.5 liters.
Anyway, with no further ado let's meet the cast of characters:
From left to right:
Not pictured: Plastic cup, sellotape, a slice of lemon.
This highly technical plan shows what we are going to be manufacturing:
Step number 1: Burn a small hole in the bottle, using a lighter
Step number 2: Glue and sellotape a broken pen into the hole
Step number 3: Sellotape a disposable plastic cup to the bottle
Congratulations! You have a fully functional, high technology, brewing apparatus! Now to begin with the ingredients. First your yeast needs to be activated. Put one teaspoon of yeast and 5g (one stolen sachet) of sugar into a cup, add some warm water. After a few minutes the mixture will begin to bubble. The yeast is now awake and ready to do battle with the forces of sugar
Mix 150g of sugar into some boiling water. Here is the sugar.
Put the apple juice into the brewing apparatus, add the boiling hot sugar mixture. You may need an adult for this step. On a related note: if you end up in prison and need to mess somebody up real good you can throw a cup of boiling, sugary water into their face. The sugar makes it all sticky and impossible to get off and the boiling water does exactly what you would expect. Just thought I'd share, also it's much easier than sharpening the plastic handle of a toothbrush into a shiv and gutting them like a fish.
Finally since I'm such a connoisseur or wine, I added a slice of lemon. The zesty freshness of the lemon slice should interact very well with the dull sharpness of the fermented apple juice and I'm sure I'll end up with an awesome bottle of wine.
Anyway, that's the current state of play. I have a bottle of sugary apple fermenting away in the airing closet. The airlock is emitting a bubble every two seconds or so, which means at the very least I'm going to get alcohol, even if it does make me retch.
What with me being a serious scientist and all I thought that before trying to manufacture a gallon of wine I'd do a proof of concept run with a smaller brew, this time about 1.5 liters.
Anyway, with no further ado let's meet the cast of characters:
From left to right:
- A broken pen: With its career as a writing implement at an end, the noble pen is pushed into service one last time.
- A two litre bottle: Looks odd because I have just washed it out, it is currently drying
- Sugar: Sweet. I actually used sugar provided by our kind sponsors Ikea, Starbucks, Generic Sugar Sachet, and Cafe Nero. Thanks for letting me have those sachets guys.
- Apple Juice: Tasty. I hope
- Yeast: King of brewing
Not pictured: Plastic cup, sellotape, a slice of lemon.
This highly technical plan shows what we are going to be manufacturing:
Step number 1: Burn a small hole in the bottle, using a lighter
Step number 2: Glue and sellotape a broken pen into the hole
Step number 3: Sellotape a disposable plastic cup to the bottle
Congratulations! You have a fully functional, high technology, brewing apparatus! Now to begin with the ingredients. First your yeast needs to be activated. Put one teaspoon of yeast and 5g (one stolen sachet) of sugar into a cup, add some warm water. After a few minutes the mixture will begin to bubble. The yeast is now awake and ready to do battle with the forces of sugar
Mix 150g of sugar into some boiling water. Here is the sugar.
Put the apple juice into the brewing apparatus, add the boiling hot sugar mixture. You may need an adult for this step. On a related note: if you end up in prison and need to mess somebody up real good you can throw a cup of boiling, sugary water into their face. The sugar makes it all sticky and impossible to get off and the boiling water does exactly what you would expect. Just thought I'd share, also it's much easier than sharpening the plastic handle of a toothbrush into a shiv and gutting them like a fish.
Finally since I'm such a connoisseur or wine, I added a slice of lemon. The zesty freshness of the lemon slice should interact very well with the dull sharpness of the fermented apple juice and I'm sure I'll end up with an awesome bottle of wine.
Anyway, that's the current state of play. I have a bottle of sugary apple fermenting away in the airing closet. The airlock is emitting a bubble every two seconds or so, which means at the very least I'm going to get alcohol, even if it does make me retch.
