Jim2 introduced me to my new favourite site on the internet. The searchable patent database. A database of every single patent granted over the last hundred or so years. There are some completely awesome things on there and with a combination of google and far too much free time I found some of the greatest:
To quote from the patent itself:
Yes you read that correctly, somebody has patented the idea of getting a cat to chase a laser pointer. I don't know what is more amusing, the fact that somebody patented this or the fact that the patent office granted it.
IT IS A WEARABLE HABITRAIL. I would like to see somebody go jogging wearing one of these.
This one wins some sort of prize as 'invention I never, ever, ever, ever want to have a use for'
I have been having fun trying to imagine what sort of person would purchase one of these and every line of thought leads to crazy old ladies. You know, exactly the same sort of people who own over three dozen cats and leave the house less than once a year. Yeah. They'd love the dog vacuum.
Do you have a pet? Do you want to seal your pet in an airtight sack to keep your house hair free? Is your dog dusty?
If the answer to all of these questions is yes then you're a retard, but you'll love this invention!
Here is a link (click the images button) to the patent for the dog dust cover. I love the way that it doesn't mess around, the first page is just pictures of a dog. No explanation, no sales pitch. Just pictures of a dog in overalls. This is my sort of patent.
#5 - Method of exercising a cat (5443036)
To quote from the patent itself:
1. A method of inducing aerobic exercise in an unrestrained cat comprising the steps of:
(a) directing an intense coherent beam of invisible light produced by a hand-held laser apparatus to produce a bright highly-focused pattern of light at the intersection of the beam and an opaque surface, said pattern being of visual interest to a cat; and
(b) selectively redirecting said beam out of the cat's immediate reach to induce said cat to run and chase said beam and pattern of light around an exercise area.
Yes you read that correctly, somebody has patented the idea of getting a cat to chase a laser pointer. I don't know what is more amusing, the fact that somebody patented this or the fact that the patent office granted it.
#4 - Pet display clothing (5901666)
A vest or belt is integrally formed with tubular, pet receiving passageways which extend around the wearer's body and terminate in pocket-like chambers for feeding and retrieval. Outer wall portions of the passageways are transparent so that a pet moving along the passageways can be seen by a spectator. Graphics or indicia depicting the pet's habitat or a pet story are marked on the vest and extend across portions of the passageways masking delineations or depicting the passageways as burrows.IT IS A WEARABLE HABITRAIL. I would like to see somebody go jogging wearing one of these.
#3 - Grave Alarm (500072)
This one wins some sort of prize as 'invention I never, ever, ever, ever want to have a use for'
#2 - Combination Toy Dog and Vacuum Cleaner (3771192)
I have been having fun trying to imagine what sort of person would purchase one of these and every line of thought leads to crazy old ladies. You know, exactly the same sort of people who own over three dozen cats and leave the house less than once a year. Yeah. They'd love the dog vacuum.
#1 - Dog Dust Cover (3150641)
Do you have a pet? Do you want to seal your pet in an airtight sack to keep your house hair free? Is your dog dusty?
If the answer to all of these questions is yes then you're a retard, but you'll love this invention!
Here is a link (click the images button) to the patent for the dog dust cover. I love the way that it doesn't mess around, the first page is just pictures of a dog. No explanation, no sales pitch. Just pictures of a dog in overalls. This is my sort of patent.
